Monday, June 14, 2010. That is the day one of my best friends, for a very long time, left Indiana to live in Houston, Texas. My apologies to my classmates and Beth for not making it into class today…I hope you can understand. Instead of a recap of class, seeing as I was unable to make it, I will share my thoughts and experiences of what I did instead.
My friends and I decided to celebrate his departure and safe journey to Houston, at Gray Brothers Cafeteria in Mooresville, Indiana. I woke up today with an uneasy feeling. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what the source of this feeling was, until it finally hit me before I arrived at Gray Brothers Cafeteria. Upon arriving, I was one of the few first arrivals. The few that had already arrived and I, waited for the others to arrive outside the cafeteria. A few minutes later, the rest of the party arrived and we proceeded into the cafeteria. While everyone was eating and visiting, I felt as if I was sort of numb. I didn’t really feel anything, the uneasy feeling from earlier in the day had subsided. As everyone finished up eating dinner, a few of us stepped outside. Eventually, the rest of my friends made it outside. We stood around and watched as the storm rolled over Mooresville. We were out there for about two hours, chatting and watching the storm.
Everything hit me when my friend, Travis, started saying his goodbyes. He hugged his mother, it was a long hug. The kind of hug that you know means something. As Travis continued to say his goodbyes, the girls of our group started to cry…it was a very sad moment. I don’t like to see people cry, especially the people that I care about. I believe that when we cry, we are the most exposed and open and raw, we are leaving all of our emotions out in the open for everyone to see. To be completely honest, it took everything in me to hold back the feelings. Just seeing all of them crying and knowing that Travis is moving away, was tearing me up inside leaving an empty feeling.
If you can remember, one of my fears is the fear of being alone. I believe that with this fear, the feeling of “feeling empty,” go hand-in-hand. I also have another one…a fear of separation. I really didn’t want to share that one, because it roots back to my childhood along with other experiences in my life. On this day, I was facing those fears, and it hurt and still hurts.
Just before he left we took this snapshot from a cellphone.

After Travis left, the girls stood in a circle and spoke of all the good times that we all shared together over the years. They cried and held each other and it was really hard not to cry with them. We stayed right outside of the cafeteria the whole time, some of us in the rain, some not.
Shortly after that, the storm had passed, the sunlight broke through the clouds and this amazing double rainbow appeared.

After it was all said and done, we all said our goodbyes and went home.
Even though you were not there, thank you for sharing this experience with me.
Posted in Seeing Sideways